Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
