Texts From Last Night

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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.

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  (606): Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier. http://tfl.nu/kkf1
  Replies (16) Good night (1795) Bad night (466) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.

  (1-480): View more from Arizona

  Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.

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  (480): Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room. (1-480): Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess? (480): You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about. http://tfl.nu/fd7a
  Replies (38) Good night (7234) Bad night (581)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.

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  (715): Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's. http://tfl.nu/k4yu
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day

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  (202): i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day http://tfl.nu/prhf
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  (914): View more from New York

  threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student

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  (914): threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student http://tfl.nu/czt4
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  (805): View more from California

  just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.

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  (805): just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you. http://tfl.nu/8wpn
  Replies (7) Good night (1059) Bad night (3265) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.

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  (815): I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off. http://tfl.nu/09ia
  Replies (11) Good night (2716) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight

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  (419): if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight http://tfl.nu/1a1e
  Replies (11) Good night (3658) Bad night (781) Order T-Shirt
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost

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  (251): I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost http://tfl.nu/fd0l
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  (253): View more from Washington

  That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of

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  (253): That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of http://tfl.nu/x3nm
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..

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  (706): having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear.. http://tfl.nu/j8z4
  Replies (16) Good night (2158) Bad night (1078) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums

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  (732): apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums http://tfl.nu/96xk
  Replies (12) Good night (956) Bad night (1774) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.

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  (419): I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one. http://tfl.nu/6e70
  Replies (6) Good night (419) Bad night (1021) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.

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  (904): There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's. http://tfl.nu/flhw
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  (559): View more from California

  I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."

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  (559): I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce." http://tfl.nu/n8hm
  Replies (2) Good night (614) Bad night (324) Order T-Shirt

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