This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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