wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
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Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
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I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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