I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you would pick up someone in the library
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.