I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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