just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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