Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
