I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize