i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
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