Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize