Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
