just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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