remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
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Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
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It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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