Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize