The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
