i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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