my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
