Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
