You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
