you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
