So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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