THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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