dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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