We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
