I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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