AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
