The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
