If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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