You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think I sprained my soul last night
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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