Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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