could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
my poor anus
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
