I skipped work to stalk him.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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