His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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