I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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