I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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