are you so shy because you have an std?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
