You just made me feel so damn special
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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