we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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