How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
