They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
