everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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