Pappa wants mamma naked
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
