at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
