if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
