He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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