She tied me up with her honor cords...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
