i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
