Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
