I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
