if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
it's like heaven, but drunker
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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