So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
