I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
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