just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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