you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
