I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize