I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
