State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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