i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
