can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
