2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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